Thursday, February 01, 2007

Loneliness -a pic (montage of 3 of my images) and a poem of mine

My life is full of walking -
a dreary trudge, a long slow pace
full of weight, a drooping of the
shoulders, a little gasp for air.

"Alone," they say,
"Alone with troubled thoughts."
But I am not alone,
lights eyes guide me
down gravel worn path
tall weathered trees stand guard.


P. B. Adams said...

Love the image montage. I had to look carefully to see the three. Nice job.

The poem clearly fits the image or the image fits the poem. Not sure which of course. Nice images and sound in the piece. Just a couple of things–

I wondered why you have, "a long slow pace/full of weight" rather than something that shows the weight, a smell or a sound perhaps that is weighty...

I stumbled on "lights eyes guide me". Is that a typo? Should it be "light eyes guide me" or something else?

Nice finish, I like the pairing of the worn trees with the weathered path. Well done. Thanks!

ragingplanetfire said...

I'm not too sure of the poem at times, I think I might need to work on it some more. Sometimes being simple is just too simple. :)

Thanks for the comment.

Alaska Steve said...

I love the picture, it's really fine.

The poem is good too. But I had the same trouble PB had with 'lights eyes." And I'm not sure how the tall weathered trees are grammatically linked to the rest.

Also, did the gravel wear down the path? or
Is it a worn, gravel path?

But it is a great match for the picture. And I like the idea of using pictures along with the words. I try to get pictures onto each of my blog posts.

Legal Stuff

All works posted here are under the sole and exclusive ownership of the author. Do not reproduce or otherwise copy any work on this site without the expressed written consent of the author. Yadda yadda yadda. Have a nice day. :)

§ P.B. Adams, Webmaster

Hungry Writers

Hungry Writers
Feedback Served Here